day 1: i went to bed with an empty stomach and pretended not to love you
day 3: i cut all the dried flowers i had from the time we went to the public park.
day 7: i read our old messages and tried to kill the monsters under my bed.
day 11: i counted all the reasons to love you, again and went to sleep with a stranger.
day 13: i met the stranger again at the place that we used to meet, only it was a different corner.
day 19 i wrote you a letter with all our memories. and then fed it to my neighbour’s retriever.
day 23: i painted something that looked like you and burnt the polaroids we took on our first anniversary.
day 47: i wrote myself a poem and met my first grade best friend.
day 63: i accidentally deleted all the songs that we danced to (and made love to)
day 78: i killed all the monsters under my bed and inside my head with the glass pieces left of the whiskey bottle
day 85: i painted galaxies on all the parts of me you touched and fell asleep in a garden of daisies
day 91: i read a poem that spoke to me about our love and tried to breath underwater
day 94: i dreamt of you leaving again but this time it didnt feel like a nightmare
day 99: i took care of myself and went to bed with a smile.
day 102: i read my mother’s favorite book and the protagonist was just like you. and i understood why mother liked you so much.
day 105: i learnt to dance with the red horned god without stepping on his feet.
day 107: i watched the moon rekindle with his past lovers. And threw the mix tapes you made me.
day 109: i buried all the dead flowers i had collected in my journal, and then planted olives over it.