maybe what you’re looking for is something more than just comfort. maybe you want to be comforted like you’re loved. to be loved like you’re wanted. to be wanted like you’re needed. to be needed like you’re important. to be important like you are you. to be you like you are in one piece, as a whole, as a gift, as a prize. and the thing is, maybe that doesn’t exist. and if it does, maybe its temporary. because people change, priorities change, feelings change. and regret consumes all that. feeling of helplessness comes after that. and that’s another reason why its all so scary. and I finally understand why my mother taught me not to love. because it does not stay. because it changes. like the rain; flood and slow and fast and drought. and then it stops. and when it comes back, it’s not the same. ever again.