closure ;|ˈklōZHər| (noun)
– a feeling that an emotional experience has been resolved.
happy things happen everyday. it’s probably a fact in some far away universe. the thing is, we need to realise those happy things. we need to look for happiness. i’m having a good day today and i dont think, i’m actually supposed to have a good day today considering the fact that i have a very important exam tomorrow (and even though the marks are only half-mattering, i’m still kinda stressed) and i’m left w at least 12 things to do.
but here i am, typing and listening to ‘an ugly fact of life,’ (what an apt song for right now though?) (it’s an instrumental, by the way.)
coming back to happy things, i had a small closure today. i dont even know if i can call it closure actually. but anyways i realised today that i’m happy, and i’m happy without any particular reason. (i mean, i got to know Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay are coming where i live so i do have a reason to be super happy) but well, i feel as if even though there is a lot that, if a-year-old-me thought about, she would have balled her eyes out and written sad poems. but, i dont know, i’m not like that anymore. i feel as if i’m at peace and am at peace with myself. and the one thing that has got me here, i think, is that i’ve left the things that made me undeniably sad. and those things include people, memories, guilt and wishes.
the reason i’m writing this is because i wanted, needed, everyone to know this, to remember this: we can get through everything if we keep trying. i know trying gets tiring but then, that’s not a good enough excuse. it’s like saying, i’m tired of having subway. and who gets tired of having subway? and if you do get tired, you can always take a break from it and try dominoes but then make sure that it’s a temporary break. i’m sure subway doesnt want to lose you.
let me get a little philosophical now: (a little more philosophical, i mean)
please, please live for yourself. live in your bubble. ignore everything. dont overthink everything. let go of the people that make you feel less. remove the negativity. do whatever makes you happy. jump around. laugh at everything. give real smiles. help others. be kind. buy ice cream. draw a little, write a little, live a little.
i know, i know letting go is hard, i know ignoring is hard, and i know leaving is also hard.
but you can get through it, it might take you months but why give up the possibility of happiness? letting go of negativity always brings some positivity. and then what is this world without a little bit of hope?
and the other important thing is that never stop yourself from feeling. i’ve never been good with emotions and i never know how to express myself or react to things (funny how i was just telling my best friend how she needs to express herself more, oh well) but expressing yourself is so so very important and so is talking about it. never hold it in, never keep it in. it’s like poop, you know? you just have to let go of it. (okay that was a disgusting way to put it so i’m gonna end this here now)
also, if you know me personally and read all this in my voice then good!!! because i wrote all this while speaking it out loud as if i was in a super classy movie but i’m just in my room and just talking to myself and writing it down and this is fun hm.
(there’s this instrumental, ‘goodbye’ it was in the movie hachi and my shuffle just played it so i’m gonna take that as a sign and leave)
i hope you all understand what i was trying to say though and i really hope it helped you. even though there are a lot of parts that seem very random and do not make sense at all. (but if you’ve been following this blog for a while, then you’d know that i rarely make sense)
BYE NOW. hAVE A GOOD DAY YOU LOVELY PERSON WHO READ ALL THIS AND IGNORED ALL THE TYPOS AND GRAMMATICAL ERRORS YOU ARE AMAZING AND SENDING FREE HUGS FOR U !!!!!!!
wow so hyper, almost cringe worthy.
*runs away in disgust* *comes back to post* *and leaves again*