don’t be the mother who doesn’t realise what long sleeves in summer and loud music in showers mean. don’t be the mother who doesn’t know what excuses for lunch mean, don’t be the mother who doesn’t know what a constant hand on the stomach means.
don’t be the mother who doesn’t understand why sleeping-in sounds much better than going out, than going out to hang out with people that don’t exist, with friends that don’t exist. don’t be the mother who’s oblivious to the fact that her child is having a bad day.
don’t be the mother who doesn’t recognise the clear signs of mental illness but please don’t be the mother who recognises the mental illness only to later brush it off because, “it’s just a phase.”
don’t be the mother who believes only in healthy eating because of course, a person can’t possibly be thick and loved, because you need to be skinny and pretty and tall and wonderful with good table manners and perfect teeth and a good brain to be loved because no one will love you if you aren’t any of that.
but don’t be the mother who doesn’t believe in love because of her own heartbreaks, because you were the one who never got her happy ending. love is everywhere, even if you’re not what the society wanted, even if you’re not as perfect as everyone has thought of you.
don’t be the mother who gives more priority to good grades because you think good grades are important, because without good grades everyone is nothing but dirt. good grades mean nothing and mental health is way more important and i hope to god, you realise it before it’s too damn late.
don’t be the mother who doesn’t see through halfhearted lies, don’t be the mother who believes that those scars came because of a stupid branch that scratched hard. don’t be the mother who doesn’t realise that those sharpener blades weren’t actually collected to making paper cutting easier.
don’t be the mother who doesn’t stop the boy from mistreating her daughter, don’t be the mother who thinks that violence is the better way if words were not enough. don’t be the mother who lets her child cry because you think she deserved it.
don’t be the mother who believes in standing back down, who believes in giving up. do not give up on your child, never let them lose hope. be their hope, be the one they trust, be the one they can always come back to.
be the mother i should have been, be the mother you wished i was, be the mother you said you’ll be.
– “this is my way of apologising, ” a note from my maternal gran before death.