the path from my jaw to my shoulder was always stained and tainted and marked with her red bites. she’d say in the end, ‘sorry’, a soft whisper, warm breath against my neck, ‘i didnt mean to hurt you.’
she was selfish, blue and aflame. she was heartless, broken and grey. she was rude, selfish and red.
she taught me how to not keep the universe wrapped around my neck, no one should have that much power over me, she said.
she never kissed me.
blue then white, then yellow, then red, sometimes purple, sometimes grey, to black and to blue; the sky constantly changed and she never stopped loving it.
she said it was infatuation and fascination or just another misconception. she was right.
change is not a concept. it’s a disease. and it grows. day after day, it grows and it grows. till it becomes the only thing to fit in the room. congratulations, you’ve done it, you’re alone. with change. enjoy the afterparty.
i didn’t want her to die, i didnt want her to die a painless death. she deserved so much worse.
when she laughed, with her crooked teeth bare beneath her fiery lips, she’d look like the people you see on the streets of a dream. hazy and dreamy, lost and confused, ghastly and unreal.
a part of her wanted to keep on forever breathing, but she would never admit it.
she never stayed. change was her only forte, and she knew very well just how to use it against the men who wanted her to stay.
she was not empty wrists or saturn eyes. she was razor blades and warm tears. suicidal and deadly.
everything is better
now that she’s forgotten,
twelve feet under, i hope
[a/n: there’s a point hidden in the writing, (hence the title thirteen.5 things..) i’m not sure if it’ll be easily seen, or not. but it’s right there in front of you, and its everywhere!! basically if/once the point is read, the whole perception changes]
[hint: numbers are important, very important]